Quentin Tarantino used to say that if you’re interested in making movies but don’t have any access to the industry, you should write a screenplay, which anybody can do. Some Wu-Tang Clan fan took this up on themselves with a story about possibly the greatest MacGuffin in film history, the Wu-Tang Clan’s one-piece-only album Once Upon a Time in Shaolin. The script by Jordan VanDina is about a heist to steal the record back, and it’s entitled Once Upon a Time in the Shaolin: A Wu-Tang Clan Heist.
Once Upon a Time in the Shaolin: A Wu-Tang Clan Heist has the already legendary record falling into the hands of the evil Shkrel, an obvious reference to the record’s real-life owner Martin Shkreli. Wu-Tang members Method Man, RZA, Ghostface Killah, U-God, Inspectah Deck, GZA, Cappadonna and Raekwon feature heavily in the story, which involves the album being stolen back in order to save the world from the (also evil) Donald Trump – in other words, a very topical story.
You can read the entirety of Once Upon a Time in the Shaolin: A Wu-Tang Clan Heist right here. Hopefully, some rich producer will do the same and actually make the movie, but that probably isn’t going to happen.