Defenders of mixing up ketchup and mayonnaise have a few standby rhetorical themes on-hand at all times. “It’s just thousand island dressing or fry sauce,” they say. My response: We came up with euphemisms like “thousand island dressing” for a reason, and the reason is that the idea of mixing up ketchup and mayonnaise is gross. Heinz has decided to settle the matter democratically, with a Twitter poll centered on a blend they call Mayochup:
Want #mayochup in stores? 500,000 votes for “yes” and we’ll release it to you saucy Americans.
— Heinz Ketchup (@HeinzKetchup_US) April 11, 2018
As you can see above, Heinz promises to deliver Mayochup to your local grocery store if it gets 500,000 affirmative votes before the poll ends in a couple of more days.
One interesting aspect of this promotional stunt to me, and this may just be me being cynical, is that Twitter doesn’t display exact vote counts, instead only showing the total votes received as well as a percentage breakdown in the results. So it seems to me that if the results are at all close, Heinz could exercise some discretion over whether or not they release this monstrosity to the public, the point being that even if Mayochup takes the lead you might still be able to save the populace. Good luck out there, and keep an eye on the Heinz Twitter account here for more developments.