Today we’re going to run down a list of great cocktails that you, as a grown man, can order at a bar without being embarrassed.
So what is the criteria for such a cocktail? Basically, we’re looking for two things: booze and balance. (A name that doesn’t suck also helps.) In short, a good cocktail needs to taste like booze—not sugar, not soda, not fruit juice. Juice is for boys; gin is for men.
This is not to say that a good cocktail can’t contain fruit, however, and that is where the balance part comes in. You can have a sweet element in a drink, but there also needs to be a bitter or dry element to balance things out a bit. Complexity is good; simplicity is bad.
Thus, the old rum and coke? Disqualified. Singapore Sling? Disqualified. Tequila Sunrise? Disqualified.
Don’t get me wrong, these things are all okay sometimes, in moderation and in the right setting. But when you’re having drinks with a new lady friend, don’t embarrass yourself by ordering something silly like a Screwdriver. Instead, go with one of these. They’ll put hair on your chest (which you should there), they’re tasty, and you can say their names out loud without being embarrassed.