Valentine’s Day: 27 Major Fails

by: Esteban On  Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Tags:  Fail   Love & Sex   Romance   Valentine's Day   Women  

valentine's day fails

Guys, take note of the date: Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. If you have a significant other, or if you plan to acquire one with some romantic gesture on February 14th, then you need to star planning. But don’t worry. We’re here to help.

No, we don’t have any good ideas for you—or at least, not today. Instead, we’ve got a list of Valentine’s Day FAILS you really want to avoid at all costs.

Ready to look and learn? Well, here we go…


27. Poor choice of words

valentine's day fails

From the look of it, Dick’s is an electronics store or something. And contrary to what this amazingly worded sign says, Dick’s will not make your Valentine’s Day special. Got get her some jewelry instead.


26. Balloon Fail

26 weird valentine's day ballon

I’m guessing this heartfelt message was written by somebody in China with poor English skills. But hey, at least they spelled “Valentine’s Day” correctly.


25. The Romantic Sheriff

25 tyrone lewis sheriff billboard - valentine's day fails

Because everyone wants to know that their sheriff loves them.


24. Office Depot Fail

24 staples valentine's day fail

Yeah, tell her you love her by getting marrie all over again. Step 1: file for divorce. She’ll love it.


23. Interesting Used Car Ad

23 price massacre - valentine's day fails

Nothing gets you in the mood to fall in love with a 1992 Hyundai Excel like an advertisement featuring gangsters getting shot in the face with blood spewing everywhere. Good work, guys.


22. Romantic Date Night

22 pre valentine's day heavy metal mixer - valentine's day fails

Nothing says “Mon chere, je t’aime” like a night out at the heavy metal Valentine’s mixer. I guess goth kids are suckers for romance, too.


21. Give Her Crabs

21 give your valentine crabs - valentine's day fails

I guess this one isn’t really a fail, since there’s no way it could have been unintentional. Still, really? Give your loved one crabs for Valentine’s Day? That’s a bit much.


20. How not to pop the question

20 pizza hut proposal - valentine's day fails

Every girl is different, but I’m still pretty sure yours does not want to get engaged over a romantic $10 dinner from Pizza Hut. But hey, I could be wrong.


19. Sports Proposal Fail

Speaking of ways your special lady does not want to get engaged…don’t propose on the jumbotron at a sporting event. It’s not romantic. It’s just awkward. And it may result in this.


18. Lollipop Fail

18 valentine's day lollipop fail - valentine's day fails

I can see how someone might make a mistake when writing words on a lollipop. What’s less excusable is that either nobody noticed or nobody cared, and this thing still ended up packaged and on a store shelf.


17. Cookie Fail

17 hug me cookie fail - valentine's day fails

Funny how you add one little letter to the end of a word and a phrase comes to mean something very, very different. In this case, the message on the cookie was transformed from a command to a declaratory statement. (Though I guess this might actually get you laid if you give it to the right girl.)


16. Heart-Shaped Steak

16 heart-shaped steak - valentine's day fails

Baby, your heart is like a juicy steak…that I’m going to grill and then eat. Mmmmm, steak.



15. Gag Gift Fail

15 stupid novelty clothing - valentine's day fails

You know what make terrible Valentine’s Day gifts? Novelty items.

I wonder if they switched “sweat” and “sweet” on purpose, or if they’re just idiots.


14. Another Gag Gift Fail

14 fundies weird novelty underwear - valentine's day fails

Look, if you want to share a pair of undies with your lady, just do on down to Walmart and pick up a pack of 4XL Fruit of the Looms.


13. Greeting Card Fail

13 terrible valentine's day card - valentine's day fails

This is why you always have to proof-read. If you accidentally type “Mouth” instead of “Life,” things get pretty kinky.


12. Sign Fail

12 say i love you with facials - valentine's day fails

Just an FYI: there are probably a few better ways to say “I love you” than with a facial.


11. Name a Roach

11 bronx zoo name a roach - valentine's day fail

This is not a joke. It’s a real promotion put on by the Bronx Zoo. Google it for yourself and see.


10. The Bedwetting Store? Really?

10 bedwetting store - valentine's day fails

Even the Bedwetting Store likes to get in on the Valentine’s Day fun, apparently. After all, what’s more romantic than a new set of rubber sheets?


9. Hooter's Special

9 hooters valentine's day ad - valentine's day fails

Hey, guess where your lady friend definitely does not want to go for dinner on Valentine’s Day? That’s right—Hooters. No matter how much she loves wings, she’s not going to enjoy watching you stare at strangers’ breasts all night.


8. Waffle House Special

8 waffle house ad - valentine's day fails

I guess this is where the classy gent takes his date when the local Hooters is all booked up?


7. Romantic Dinner at White Castle

7 white castle valentine's reservations - valentine's day fails

This is a real thing. Apparently you can reserve a booth and have a candle light dinner for two at White Castle on Valentine’s Day. Only problem is, after eating a bunch of belly bombers, that’ll be the end of the romance.


6. The Perfect Gift

6 unfaithful - valentine's day fails

Orrrrrrrrrrrr you could just bring her flowers and agree to watch the Notebook again. Your call.


5. Back Hair Love

5 heart shaved into back hair - valentine's day fails

Wow, it doesn’t get much worse than this.

Oh, wait…

4. Chest Hair Love

4 creepy guy with hearts shaved into chest and stomach hair - valentine's day fails

If this guy had any reasonable prospects—and that is dubious—they all dried up when he did this.


3. Valentine's Day Bargains

3 valentine's day shopping at the dollar store - valentine's day fails

I have to admit, this one is genuinely intentionally hilarious—until you actually think about the fact that the dollar store sells sexy lace lingerie, and that dude’s will actually buy them for their ladies on Valentine’s Day. Then it’s depressing as hell.


2. Worst. Gift. Ever.

2 funeral arrangements for valentine's day - valentine's day fails

“Hey baby, I love you so much that I started thinking about how you’re going to die one day and how I won’t want to have to do any work. So I got you this funeral package. Happy Valentine’s Day!”


1. Roses

1 wrong way to give flowers - valentine's day fails

Flowers: good. Flowers presented in crotch: bad. It’s not rocket science, fellas, but take note.