The 25 Worst Movies of 2012

by: Esteban On  Thursday, December 6, 2012
Tags:  Entertainment   Film   Hollywood   Movies  

worst movies films of 2012

It’s that time of year again. Pretty soon, every movie critic in the world will (be forced by their editor to) write a column in which they choose the best movies of the past 12 months. A few of these critics will even populate their lists with mainstream flicks everyone has heard of. But of course, most of them will be trying to remind everyone that they went to film school by choosing a bunch of foreign films that only people who read The New Yorker have ever heard of.

Anyway, I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of these end-of-year “best movies” lists. So this year I decided to do a list of the worst movies released in the last 12 months.

Now, I’m no movie critic, so I won’t be making too many subjective assessments here. Instead, I’m using two reliable sources to rank the flicks: Rotten Tomatoes and the Internet Movie Database. I started with a list of the 50 lowest scoring films of 2012. Then I went through and removed any film that scored at least a 6.0 on IMDB.com, which spared a number of critically panned films. (I’m looking at you, Taken 2.) For the most part, I ranked the remaining films according to the IMDB rating, but there are a few exceptions—for example, where the critics score from Rotten Tomatoes was really low.

Anyway, the end result is a list of really bad movies according to both critics and the general public. Take a look, and let me know what you think.

25. 360

360 - Worst Movies of 2012

Starring: Anthony Hopkins, Rachel Weisz, Jude Law, Queen Latifah

Directed By: Fernando Meirelles

Release Date: August 3, 2012

Rotten Tomatoes: 19%

IMDB: 5.9

“According to 360 the world is united in broken dreams and wounded hearts. It’s too bad that playing R.E.M.’s “Everybody Hurts” on a two-hour loop could have expressed the sentiment more effectively.” (Mark Pfeiffer, Reel Times)

The cast list reads like a question on the SATs: which one of these names doesn’t belong? (Correct answer: Queen Latifah.)

 

24. Wrath of the Titans

wrath of the titans 360 - Worst Movies of 2012

Starring: Sam Worthington, Ralph Fiennes, Liam Neeson,

Directed By: Jonathan Liebesman

Release Date: March 30, 2012

Rotten Tomatoes: 26%

IMDB: 5.8

“For those with a burning curiosity to know how The Lord of the Rings as directed by Michael Bay might look, Wrath of the Titans provides an idea.” (James Berardinelli, ReelViews)

Who would have thought a quickly thrown-together CGI flick would be so bad? Oh, right, everybody.

 

23. High School

High School - Worst Movies of 2012

Starring: Adrien Brody, Michael Chiklis, Matt Bush, Colin Hanks

Directed By: John Stalberg, Jr.

Release Date: June 1, 2012

Rotten Tomatoes: 27%

IMDB: 5.7

“The only good news for everyone involved: The worst moment in your career is surely behind you.” (Rafer Guzman, Newsday)

In this flick a batch of pot brownies some how finds its way into a school bake sale, and hilarity ensues.

 

22. The Oranges

The Oranges - Worst Movies of 2012

Starring: Leighton Meester, Hugh Laurie, Catherine Keener, Adam Brody

Directed By: Julian Farino

Release Date: October 5, 2012

Rotten Tomatoes: 26%

IMDB: 5.7

“You know the movie has an insurmountable problem when the two adulterers, who profess to be madly in love, don’t even seem like they want to be in the same room.” (Connie Ogle, Miami Herald)

Adam Brody is just attracted to projects in which the word “orange” figures prominently, I guess.

 

21. The Watch

The Watch - Worst Movies of 2012

Starring: Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill, some other guy

Directed By: Akiva Schaffer

Release Date: July 27, 2012

Rotten Tomatoes: 17%

IMDB: 5.7

“The Watch is a predictable and lazy comedy wrapped around a penis joke occasionally enlivened with some funny lines.” (Linda Barnard, Toronto Star)

The director, Akiva Schaffer, is one of the guys from the Lonely Island—Andy Samberg’s parody song group responsible for such classics as “I’m on a Boat” and “D–k in a Box.”

 

20. Gone

Gone - Worst Movies of 2012

Starring: Amanda Seyfried, that guy from American Beauty (Wes Bently)

Directed By: Heitor Dhalia

Release Date: February 24, 2012

Rotten Tomatoes: 12%

IMDB: 5.7

“No money should ever change hands in any Gone-related interaction, unless it is because you are buying matches and gasoline to set all the copies of it on fire.” (Eric D. Snider, Film.com)

Amanda Seyfried discovers her sister has been kidnapped and takes it upon herself to find her. You know, because the police are busy or something?

 

19. The Samaritan

The Samaritan - Worst Movies of 2012

Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, other people

Directed By: David Weaver

Release Date: May 18, 2012

Rotten Tomatoes: 22%

IMDB: 5.5

“What could have been an intriguing character study about redemption turns into an absurd series of eye-rolling plot twists that makes it impossible to take this mess seriously.” (Todd Jorgenson, Cinemalogue.com)

SPOILER ALERT: at one point Sam Jackson’s ex-con character discover he is involved in a romantic relationship with his own daughter. Plot twist!

 

18. That's My Boy

That's My Boy - Worst Movies of 2012

Starring: Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg

Directed By: Sean Anders and John Morris

Release Date: June 15, 2012

Rotten Tomatoes: 21%

IMDB: 5.5

“If someone told you about almost every joke in That’s My Boy, you would think they were either a sociopath or a budding serial killer.” (James Rocchi, MSN Movies)

Two directors? The expression “too many cooks spoil the broth” comes to mind. Though, you know, so does Adam Sandler.

 

17. House at the End of the Street

House at the End of the Street - Worst Movies of 2012

Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Elisabeth Shue, Max Theriot

Directed By: Mark Tonderai

Release Date: September 21, 2012

Rotten Tomatoes: 11%

IMDB: 5.7

“This is the rare horror film so bad you almost wish it had turned into a good old connect-the-gory-dots slasher movie. The only mystery at work is how Lawrence’s agent ever let her sign on.” (Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly)

This is the 10th worst movie according to critics, but moviegoers didn’t think it was quite that bad.

 

16. Red Dawn

Red Dawn - Worst Movies of 2012

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Adrianne Palicki, Josh Peck, Josh Hutcherson, Josh Joshy Josherson (kidding)

Directed By: Dan Bradley

Release Date: Noember 21, 2012

Rotten Tomatoes: 11%

IMDB: 5.6

“John Milius’s 1984 cult classic about American teens battling a Soviet invasion has been reinvented as a Tea Party wet dream that offers a scathing (if completely illogical) indictment of the federal government.” (Drew Hunt, Chicago Reader)

Apparently most people didn’t think this was the worst movie of the year, but it certainly sounds like the stupidest movie of the year. But hey, how about that snarky critique from Drew Hunt? Impressive, right?

 

15. What to Expect When You're Expecting

What to Expect When You're Expecting - Worst Movies of 2012

Starring: Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Lopez, Matthew Morrison, Brooklyn Decker, Dennis Quaid, Elizabeth Banks

Directed By: Kirk Jones

Release Date: May 18, 2012

Rotten Tomatoes: 22%

IMDB: 5.4

“What To Expect When You’re Expecting delivers a stale plot, mostly underwritten characters and almost no joy. Expect little and you may not be entirely disappointed.” (Kristal Cooper, We Got This Covered)

A movie based on a pregnancy handbook? What, were the rights to the Linux Pocket Guide already taken?

 

 

14. The Chernobyl Diaries

Chernobyl Diaries - Worst Movies of 2012

Starring: Jesse McCartney, Jonathan Sadowski, Olivia Dudley

Directed By: Brad Parker

Release Date: May 25, 2012

Rotten Tomatoes: 20%

IMDB: 5.0

“The real stars of the movie are the tired devices and plot points. They’re famous, but they’re as old as Betty White: The Guide Is Dead, The Van Won’t Start, Her Shirt Has a Plunging Neckline, Don’t Go in There.” (Wesley Morris, Boston Globe)

Hey, aint nothin’ wrong with plunging necklines.

 

13. Fun Size

Fun Size - Worst Movies of 2012

Starring: Victoria Justice, Thomas Mann (no, not the 20th century German novelist), Jane Levy, Johnny Knoxville

Directed By: Josh Schwartz

Release Date: October 26, 2012

Rotten Tomatoes: 25%

IMDB: 4.9

“Fun Size is the Nickelodeon equivalent of a Hallmark card for Halloween. Even the target audience will be asking their parents when it’s polite to dispose of it after the holiday.” (Blake Howard, 2UE That Movie Show)

When I saw that this film starred Johnny Knoxville, I thought for sure it was going to be good. Oh well.

 

12. Paranormal Activity 4

Paranormal Activity 4 - Worst Movies of 2012

Starring: it doesn’t even matter at this point

Directed By: Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman

Release Date: October 19, 2012

Rotten Tomatoes: 24%

IMDB: 4.5

“Unfortunately, this franchise has finally seemed to run its course. There are less quality scares, and now a story that almost doesn’t matter.” (Jeff Bayer, The Scorecard Review)

There was just no reason to make this movie other than bilk every last cent out of gullible tweens and teens.

 

11. Darling Companion

Darling Companion - Worst Movies of 2012

Starring: Diane Keaton, Kevin Kline

Directed By: Lawrence Kasdan

Release Date: April 20, 2012

Rotten Tomatoes: 21%

IMDB: 4.6

“No doubt this yarn enthralled Larry and Meg Kasdan’s dinner guests, but onscreen the crisis seems dull and inconsequential, in part because the quest for the dog is essentially a MacGuffin that drives the blah ‘real’ story about marital reconciliation.” (John Beifuss, Commercial Appeal)

God, even the title of this one sounds lame. It’s basically just a case of a once-relavent director convincing good actors to be in his crappy movie as a person favor. Bummer.

 

10. Alex Cross

Alex-Cross-Worst-Movies-of-2012

Starring: Tyler Perry, Matthew Fox, Ed Burns, Rachel Nichols

Directed By: Rob Cohen

Release Date: October 19, 2012

Rotten Tomatoes: 13%

IMDB: 4.8

“So cloddish, slapdash, gracelessly written, and visually fugly that it’s difficult to distinguish Perry’s limitations in the role from those of the whole unpleasant enterprise.” (Lisa Schwarzbaum, Entertainment Weekly)

Morgan Freeman played Alex Cross, a detective/psychologist created by novelist James Patterson, in Kiss the Girls and Along Came a Spider. For some reason, somebody got the ridiculous idea that Tyler Perry could fill his shoes.

 

9. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance - Worst Movies of 2012

Starring: Nicholas Cage, Isris Elba

Directed By: Mark Neveldine, Brian Taylor

Release Date: February 17, 2012

Rotten Tomatoes: 18%

IMDB: 4.4

“Whether Cage is still paying off castles, appeasing the IRS, or rebuilding his comic book collection, it’s clear he’s decided, for now, to trade his talent for cold, hard cash.” (Elizabeth Weitzman, New York Daily News)

Well private islands don’t buy themselves.

 

8. One for the Money

One for the Money  - Worst Movies of 2012

Starring: Katherine Heigl, Jason O’Mara, Sherri Shepherd, John Leguizamo

Directed By: Julie Anne Robinson

Release Date: January 27, 2012

Rotten Tomatoes: 2%

IMDB: 5.1

“There is action of a sort — a car blows up, shots are fired — and what might pass for witty, sexy banter to someone who once overheard a conversation about an episode of Moonlighting.” (A.O. Scott, New York Times)

The 2% rating from Rotten Tomatoes is the second-worst of 2012. So the pro movie-watchers certainly didn’t like it.

 

7. Piranha 3DD

Piranha 3DD - Worst Movies of 2012

Starring: Danielle “Who?” Panabaker, David Koechner, Matt Bush, Chris Zylka, Meagan Tandy

Directed By: John Gulager

Release Date: June 1, 2012

Rotten Tomatoes: 13%

IMDB: 4.0

“An absolutely awful sequel that flushes any potential this franchise might have otherwise had.” (R.L. Shaffer, IGN DVD)

I really loved the original Piranha. It had Elisabeth Shue, and it was campy fun. This one is just stupid.

 

6. The Cold Light of Day

The Cold Light of Day - Worst Movies of 2012

Starring: Henry Cavill, Sigourney Weaver, Bruce Willis

Directed By: Mabrouk El Mechri

Release Date: September 7, 2012

Rotten Tomatoes: 6%

IMDB: 4.8

“Charging $10 for this movie is criminal; vouchers and letters of apology should be handed out at the exit for those stalwart viewers who stick it out to the end.” (James Bererdinelli, ReelViews)

Who the hell is Henry Cavill? Exactly.

 

5. The Babymakers

The Babymakers - Worst Movies of 2012

Starring: Olivia Munn, Paul Schneider

Directed By: Jay Chandrasekhar

Release Date: August 3, 2012

Rotten Tomatoes: 9%

IMDB: 4.6

“When a movie resorts to scenes of a grown man rolling around on a floor slick with spilled semen samples, something plainly has gone wrong.” (Mark Olsen, Los Angeles Times)

Mr. Olsen’s summary has assured I will never watch this film.

 

4. Tyler Perry's Madea's Witness Protection

Tyler Perry's Madea's Witness Protection - Worst Movies of 2012

Starring: Tyler Perry, Eugene Levy, Eugene Levy’s Eyebrows, Denise Richards, Doris Roberts

Directed By: Tyler Perry (duh)

Release Date: June 29, 2012

Rotten Tomatoes: 21%

IMDB: 3.8

“Reviewing a Tyler Perry movie is a bit like reviewing the weather report.” (Mark Feeney, Boston Globe)

Obviously, 21% of the critics who watched this film are idiots. This is the lowest IMDB score of any film on the list. It’s not #1 simply because of the Rotten Tomatoes score.

 

3. A Thousand Words

1 A Thousand Words - Worst Movies of 2012

Starring: Eddie Murphy, Allison Janney

Directed By: Brian Robbins

Release Date: March 9, 2012

Rotten Tomatoes: 0%

IMDB: 5.7

“You’ve got one of the funniest verbal actors in the business in Eddie Murphy, and you put him in a movie where he can’t talk. It’s already a recipe for disaster.” (John J. Puccio, Movie Metropolis)

Nope, that’s not a typo. Not one of the 57 RT critics recommended this movie. Not even the people who liked Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Family’s Dog’s Reunion in Jail, or whatever that movie was called.

 

2. The Devil Inside

The Devil Inside - Worst Movies of 2012

Starring: not one person you’ve heard of (unless you’re Ionut Gramma’s mom)

Directed By: William Brent Bell

Release Date: January 6, 2012

Rotten Tomatoes: 7%

IMDB: 4.0

“From the amateur acting, writing and directing to an ending that is shocking only in its stupidity, The Devil Inside will make you puke for all the wrong reasons.” (Peter Travers, Rolling Stone)

Peter Travers is one of my favorite critics. I’d advise listening to him.

 

1. The Apparition

The Apparition - Worst Movies of 2012

Starring: Ashley Greene, Sebastian Stan, Tom Felton

Directed By: Todd Lincoln

Release Date: August 24, 2012

Rotten Tomatoes: 4%

IMDB: 4.1

“The Apparition is a rare example of filmmaking failure that is so complete, it will exacerbate its audience in nearly every way possible.” (Kofi Outlaw, Screen Rant)

This may be an appropriate use of the word “exacerbate*,” but you get the idea. This movie blows.

*It means to exaggerate or make worse. 





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