15 Starbucks Secret Menu Items

by: Esteban On  Wednesday, December 5, 2012

starbucks secret menu items

These days, pretty much every major food and beverage chain has a so-called “secret menu.” Obviously, said menus aren’t really secret, otherwise we wouldn’t know about them. We’re really just talking about custom orders that have become popular and somewhat regularized by patrons, usually via social media. But you know what, calling them “secret menus” instead of “popular custom orders” sounds a lot cooler, makes you feel like you’re “in the know.” So we’re sticking with that.

Anyway, Starbucks, the world’s most ubiquitous purveyor of $4 coffees, is not immune to the secret menu craze. Their dedicated followers—lets call them “Buckies”—have established a long list of off-the-menu standards. And that is the subject of our list today.

Now, you can’t just walk into any Starbucks and ask for one of these. If you do that, the Baristas will most likely look at you like you have a second head. But if you just tell them the ingredients you want, they’ll whip it up. Starbucks is all about custom orders—much to the dismay of that guy behind you in line who just wants a plain cup of coffee.

Anyway, let’s get started. Cool?

 

15. The "short" size

15 short size at starbucks - Starbucks Secret Menu Items

Let’s start out with one that you Starbucks experts already know, but which I’m sure more than a handful of readers might be pleasantly surprised to learn. Namely: Starbucks has a size smaller than “tall,” their 12-ounce option. It’s the “short,” which is only 8 ounces.

Basically, it’s the quantity of coffee people used to drink back in the olden days, before we became a society of over-caffeinated whackos. (Your grandma doesn’t like really small portions of food and drink simply because she’s old, you know. She like them because that’s just the amount people used to consume before we started supersizing everything.)

Anyway, they don’t put the short cup out there on display with the other sizes, probably because they would just rather you drink more and get totally addicted to their drug*—er, I mean, product. But it’s there. Just ask for it.

*I say this with love. I am a full-blown coffee addict.

 

14. Red, Black, and Green Eyes

14 starbucks red eye - Starbucks Secret Menu Items

Need a little something extra one morning? Try a “Red Eye,” which is a shot of espresso added to a cup of regular drip coffee, or maybe a “Black Eye,” which is 2 extra shots.

Or, if you have your affairs in order and are ready to meet your maker, maybe give the “Green Eye” a try. That’s 3 shots of espresso added to a regular cup of joe. Sure, you might have a heart attack and die, but at least you’ll be wide awake at the moment you walk toward that white light.

 

13. Banana Cream Pie Frappuccino

13 Banana Cream Pie Frappuccino - Starbucks Secret Menu Items

I probably had you at “Banana Cream Pie Frappuccino,” but I’ll go ahead and say what’s in it anyway: it’s a Vanilla Bean Creme Frappuccino with shots of vanilla and hazelnut syrups, whipped cream, and, obviously, a whole banana.

Sure, it’ll probably cost you about $7. But in fairness, that is only about a dollar per thousand calories. Sounds like a bargain to me.

 

12. Marble Mocha Macchiato

12 Marble Mocha Macchiato - Starbucks Secret Menu Items

Nothing about this drink resembles an genuine macchiato (which is an espresso with a dollop of foamed milk on top), but lets just ignore that. The Marble Mocha Macchiato is this: regular white mocha (with no whipped cream) on bottom, then a shot (or two) of espresso on the top and a drizzle of chocolate sauce on top.

Technically, yes, this is just a white mocha with an extra shot. But it looks really fancy.

 

11. Thin Mint Frappuccino

11 Thin Mint Frappuccino - Starbucks Secret Menu Items

There are tons of mint “secret menu” Starbucks beverages. I went with this one because it’s named after Girl Scout Cookies. What you want to ask for here is a Tazo Green Tea Creme Frap, but with chocolate syrup, mint syrup, and java chips (i.e., chocolate chunks).

Is it good? I have no idea. But I’d be willing to give it a shot.

 

10. Samoa Frappuccino

10 Samoa Frappuccino - Starbucks Secret Menu Items

Oh yeah, that’s right: another Girl Scout Cookie-inspired secret menu item at Starbucks. And it’s really simple, too: just order the Mocha Coconut Frap and get a shot of caramel and a caramel drizzle.

(They’ll throw in some diabetes for free!)

 

9. Apple Juice Orange Blossom

9 Apple Juice Orange Blossom - Starbucks Secret Menu Items

Okay, now we’re getting crazy. What you do here is aks the barista to steam up some apple juice, getting it nice and hot. Then you put a bag of Tazo Orange Blossom Tea in there and steep for a few minutes.

It’s perfect for non-coffee drinkers because it makes your tea taste less lame.

(Chill out, tea drinkers, I’m just trolling.)

 

 

8. Cinnamon Roll Frappuccino

8-cinnamon-roll-frappuccino-Starbucks-Secret-Menu-Items

Here’s another high-calorie concoction that sounds as tasty as it does simple. Just order yourself a Vanilla Bean Creme Frap, but ask for a shot of Cinnamon Dolce syrup. Boom: cinnamon role in a cup.

 

7. Bootleg Brulee

7 bootleg brulee - Starbucks Secret Menu Items

This one isn’t particularly whacky, but it involved extra shots of espresso and has a cool name, so I decided to include it. All you do is order any white mocha, add two extra shots of ‘srpo, plus shot of toffee nut syrup and caramel drizzle.

I guess the “bootleg” part comes from the fact that this baby is super strong with three shots of espresso? I don’t know.

 

6. Snickers Frappuccino

6 Snickers Frappuccino - Starbucks Secret Menu Items

Don’t have time to eat a Snickers and drink a coffee? Just do both at the same time. The Snickers Frap is just a Java Chip Frappuccino with two pumps of toffee nut syrup and a caramel drizzle.

Or I suppose you could bring an actual Snickers bar with you and see if they’ll blend it up in the drink for you. But they probably won’t. So you’ll have to settle for the approximation.

 

5. Grasshopper Frappuccino

5 Grasshopper Frappuccino - Starbucks Secret Menu Items

Just look at these dudes. They’re psyched about the Grasshopper Fraps, man.

Get yourself a Mocha Frap, then have them add java chips and peppermint syrup. It supposedly tastes like chocolate mint ice cream.

 

4. Affogato Style

4 affogato-style frap - Starbucks Secret Menu Items

I hope I’m not the only one singing “Affogato Style!” to the tune of “Gangnam Style” in my head right now.

Anyway, all “affogato style” means is they throw another shot of espresso on top of your blended Frap. Why? Because it looks cool I guess.

Also, I imagine people like being all douchey by ordering a “Non-Fat Vanilla Bean Frap No-Whip Affogato Style.”

 

3. Captain Crunch

3 Starbucks Captain Crunch - Starbucks Secret Menu Items

A Starbucks beverage named after a sugary children’s breakfast serial? I don’t care what it tastes like, this one’s already a winner.

What you do here is order a Strawberries and Creme Frappuccino, then add two shots of toffee syrup, one shot of hazelnut syrup, and two scoops of java chips. And then, yes, it’s supposed to taste like Captain Crunch, which I guess some people think is a good thing.

 

2. The Dirty Chai & The Dirty Hippy

2 The Dirty Hippy - Starbucks Secret Menu Items

Anything dirty is good, right? Well, a Dirty Chai is a chai latte with a shot of espresso, and a Dirty Hippy is the same but with soy milk. Because, you know, only hippies drink soy milk. And the lactose intolerant.

Anyway, I have no idea if this would be tasty, but the name is so good it had to rank at the top of the list.

 

1. The Widowmaker

1 starbucks widowmaker - Starbucks Secret Menu Items

A drink called The Widowmaker can’t be lame, right?

Well, I’ll let you be the judge. This one is half iced black tea, half iced black coffee. It doesn’t sound all that dangerous to me, but the flavors certainly would be intense. After all, coldness brings out the bitterness in beverages usually, which is why you don’t see people drinking black iced coffee all that much.

Maybe I’ll give The Widowmaker a shot. I’m kind of curious.

 





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