50 Hilarious WiFi Network Names

by: Esteban On  Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Tags:  Funny   Internet   Technology  

funny wifi wireless network names

Back in the early days of the internet, it was easy to use the internet to be a smart-ass and maintain relatively anonymity. You could create a cryptic screen name on AOL or whatever old-fashioned ISP you hand and just troll chat rooms starting fights. But then came Facebook, and suddenly everyone had to use their real name, which created some accountability.

However, now there’s a new way to be snide anonymously: with your WiFi network name. Sure, the reach is a bit more local, but then there’s a bright side to that, too—namely, you can send specific messages to your neighbors.

So today we’re taking a look at some of the best, funniest, weirdest, and most clever WiFi networks names of all time. Hopefully it’ll inspire you to change yours to something other than “Linksys” or “D-Link.”

50. Uncle Touchy

uncle touchys puzzle basement - funny wifi network names

Anybody who references a Patton Oswalt standup bit when choosing a name for their WiFi network is okay in my book.

49. Advertising?

andy sucks d hole - funny wifi network names

This is a helpful announcement to the neighborhood ladies. Nothing wrong with that, right?

48. Yo Mama

your moms fat ass - funny wifi network names

I know this one’s hard to read. Look closely, though.

47. You know you've wanted to

ugly baby - funny wifi network names

Your WiFi network gives you the chance to say things you’d never have the balls to say in person. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

46. Burglar of Turds

turd burglar - funny wifi network names

Is the TurdBurglar the Hamburglar’s idiot cousin?

45. Puns are neat

too fly for a wifi - funny wifi network names

This is what WiFi network names would have been like in 1994.

44. Really?!?

too much curry - funny wifi network names

Everyone should be able to relate to a couple of these. This is one of the ones that hits close to home for me.

43. Strange Request

tickle my nipples - funny wifi network names

Funny—whether this one is creepy or sexy depends on who the network belongs to. If it’s a woman, then it’s kind of hot. If it’s a dude, then creepy.

42. Another Strange Request

teach me how to dougie - funny wifi network names

I think someone should tell this person that the “Dougie” stopped being cool when McKayla Maroney taught Jenna Busch how to do it on the Today Show during the Summer Olympics and your mom learned what it was.

41. Snarky Coffee Shop

buy another cup - funny wifi network names

I’d gladly buy another cup…if it didn’t cost $3.50.

40. Barking Dog Warning

shut your dog up - funny wifi network names

And I thought slipping a note under the door was passive aggressive. Yikes.

39. Pictures of Balls

pictures of balls - funny wifi network names

The only problem with names like these is that, if you have guests at your house and they ask to use your internet, you have to tell them to click on pictures of balls.

38. STFU

shut up - funny wifi network names

This is another one to which I can relate.

37. WiFi Burn

quit stealing my paper - funny wifi network names

You’d think someone tech savvy enough to yell at their neighbors via WiFi network name would just get their news on the internet like everyone else under the age of 40. But no.

36. WTF?

vaginal carnage - funny wifi network names

Here’s an example of two otherwise non-vulgar words coming together to form one extremely vulgar phrase. I think if I saw this one in my neighborhood I’d be a little disturbed, actually.

35. The S&M Network

slap me harder - funny wifi network names

Have fun explaining this one to your kids.

34. Pong Lenis

pong lenis - funny wifi network names

Get it? They switched the P and L. What a bunch of jokers.

33. Touché

music grammar sucks - funny wifi network names

If you’re going to be snarky with your WiFi network name, you’d better make sure you don’t make any spelling or grammatical errors.

32. ...or else what?

pick up your dog shit - funny wifi network names

You can’t just tell people what to do with your WiFi network name. You either have to include some sort of consequence—like the one earlier where they say they’ll call the cops on the barking dogs—or shame the culprit by identifying them—like the one where they single out the people on the third floor balcony.

31. Paradise

peenispadadiis - funny wifi network names

Here’s another one you hope your kids won’t see. “Daddy, what’s a peenisparadiis?”

30. Get Stuffed?

not free - funny wifi network names

I’m assuming this one comes from the UK, where the phrase “get stuffed” is more common. Regardless, it seems unnecessarily aggressive to me. If I were a hacker I’d get on this network just to piss this person off.

29. Extreme Vulgarity

ass to mouth f ing - funny wifi network names

You kiss your mother with that WiFi?

28. Compliments

nice tits - funny wifi network names

Nothing wrong with this exchange. Just a couple of people passing on compliments is all.

27. Take You Pick

nice dick - funny wifi network names

This must be a fun neighborhood. There’s LifeguardLover, Nice D–k Buddy and, my personal favorite, shitnkittens.

26. Who, me?

ive seen you naked - funny wifi network names

If this one popped up on my networks list, I’d change mine to “So what did you think?”

25. Naked Pics

naked pics of your girlfriend - funny wifi network names

This would be funnier if it were called “Naked Pics of MY” girlfriend. Though I guess your actual girlfriend might not be amused.

24. General Antipathy

my neighbors suck - funny wifi network names

Judging by the fact that there are only two networks on this list, not many of this person’s neighbors are even going to see this insult.

23. Request

lick my balls - funny wifi network names

Hopefully someone created a network in response to this called “NoThankYou.”

22. Creepy

i'm under your bed - funny wifi network names

Admit it: even though you’d know it’s not true, this would still creep you out a bit.

21. Take Your Pick, Part 2

i'm just a thundercats ho - funny wifi network names

Though the classic “no more grindcore” network takes top billing here, I think I actually am more fond of the “I’m just a Thundercats ho.” Of course, if you aren’t between the ages of 25 and 35, you have no idea what the hell that is even about.

20. Antoine Dobson's Network

hide yo kids hide yo wifi - funny wifi network names

Internet meme turned clever pun. What’s not to like here?

19. I'm a weiner

i'm a weiner - funny wifi network names

It must be true. Only a bona fide wiener would misspell the word.

18. Best Reply Ever

i can hear you having sex - funny wifi network names

What can I say? This is probably the greatest WiFi network name comeback ever.

17. The Peacemaker

guys please stop fighting - funny wifi network names

The last one was my favorite comeback, but this might be my overall favorite reply. It’s hard to explain why—I think you either find it funny or you don’t.

16. Not just any kind of porn

gay porn - funny wifi network names

Depending on the neighborhood you live in, this will either deter or attract potential internet pirates.

15. General Antipathy, Part 2

fuck off and die - funny wifi network names

I guess this guy is just a misanthrope.

14. Big Brother

fbi surveillance van - funny wifi network names

If there are any gullible conspiracy theorists in your neighborhood, you should totally try this one out.

13. Singled Out

fan man a douche - funny wifi network names

Hopefully there is only one fat guy on the 7th floor, otherwise this one could cause some confusion.

12. F#@$ Puppies

f puppies - funny wifi network names

Why’d they have to go and drag puppies into this?

11. Donkeyballs

donkeyballs - funny wifi network names

Just out of curiosity, I Googled “donkey balls.” The results were more varied and far less disturbing than I expected.

10. Call Me Maybe

call me maybe - funny wifi network names

Whoever named this network has probably changed the name to “Opa Gangnam Style” by now.

9. Ahoy!

butt pirate - funny wifi network names

Just a gay guy giving a shout-out to other gay guys I guess.

8. Boobies

boobies - funny wifi network names

You know the 6th grader inside you thinks this is hilarious.

7. The Batcave

batcave for porn - funny wifi network names

If you figured out how to rename your wireless network from the router’s default settings, you would think you’d also know how to enable security. But apparently not.

6. Bondage Club

bondage club - funny wifi network names

Why yes, I would like to join the bondage club. Thank you for asking.

5. Party Announcement

bring beer and women - funny wifi network names

Who need Evites? Just announce that your having a party on your wireless network and see what weirdos show up. (Wait, do people still use Evites?)

4. Simple But Classic

big perv - funny wifi network names

I admire this person’s honesty.

3. Whoa

big black c--k - funny wifi network names

“Honey, what network should I choose?”

“Oh, you want ‘Big Black C–k, dear.”

“Thanks, sweetie.”

2. Wireless Poo

wireless poo - funny wifi network names

If #8 appealed to the 6th grader in me, this one appeals to my inner 4th grader. (Yes, I’m just trying to justify the fact that I find this funny.)

1. Two Girls...

2 girls 1 router - funny wifi network names

A wireless network named after the most disgusting internet meme of all time? Sure, why not.