Back in the early days of the internet, it was easy to use the internet to be a smart-ass and maintain relatively anonymity. You could create a cryptic screen name on AOL or whatever old-fashioned ISP you hand and just troll chat rooms starting fights. But then came Facebook, and suddenly everyone had to use their real name, which created some accountability.
However, now there’s a new way to be snide anonymously: with your WiFi network name. Sure, the reach is a bit more local, but then there’s a bright side to that, too—namely, you can send specific messages to your neighbors.
So today we’re taking a look at some of the best, funniest, weirdest, and most clever WiFi networks names of all time. Hopefully it’ll inspire you to change yours to something other than “Linksys” or “D-Link.”
Anybody who references a Patton Oswalt standup bit when choosing a name for their WiFi network is okay in my book.
This is a helpful announcement to the neighborhood ladies. Nothing wrong with that, right?
I know this one’s hard to read. Look closely, though.
Your WiFi network gives you the chance to say things you’d never have the balls to say in person. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
Is the TurdBurglar the Hamburglar’s idiot cousin?
This is what WiFi network names would have been like in 1994.
Everyone should be able to relate to a couple of these. This is one of the ones that hits close to home for me.
Funny—whether this one is creepy or sexy depends on who the network belongs to. If it’s a woman, then it’s kind of hot. If it’s a dude, then creepy.
I think someone should tell this person that the “Dougie” stopped being cool when McKayla Maroney taught Jenna Busch how to do it on the Today Show during the Summer Olympics and your mom learned what it was.
I’d gladly buy another cup…if it didn’t cost $3.50.
And I thought slipping a note under the door was passive aggressive. Yikes.
The only problem with names like these is that, if you have guests at your house and they ask to use your internet, you have to tell them to click on pictures of balls.
This is another one to which I can relate.
You’d think someone tech savvy enough to yell at their neighbors via WiFi network name would just get their news on the internet like everyone else under the age of 40. But no.
Here’s an example of two otherwise non-vulgar words coming together to form one extremely vulgar phrase. I think if I saw this one in my neighborhood I’d be a little disturbed, actually.
Have fun explaining this one to your kids.
Get it? They switched the P and L. What a bunch of jokers.
If you’re going to be snarky with your WiFi network name, you’d better make sure you don’t make any spelling or grammatical errors.
You can’t just tell people what to do with your WiFi network name. You either have to include some sort of consequence—like the one earlier where they say they’ll call the cops on the barking dogs—or shame the culprit by identifying them—like the one where they single out the people on the third floor balcony.
Here’s another one you hope your kids won’t see. “Daddy, what’s a peenisparadiis?”
I’m assuming this one comes from the UK, where the phrase “get stuffed” is more common. Regardless, it seems unnecessarily aggressive to me. If I were a hacker I’d get on this network just to piss this person off.
You kiss your mother with that WiFi?
Nothing wrong with this exchange. Just a couple of people passing on compliments is all.
This must be a fun neighborhood. There’s LifeguardLover, Nice D–k Buddy and, my personal favorite, shitnkittens.
If this one popped up on my networks list, I’d change mine to “So what did you think?”
This would be funnier if it were called “Naked Pics of MY” girlfriend. Though I guess your actual girlfriend might not be amused.
Judging by the fact that there are only two networks on this list, not many of this person’s neighbors are even going to see this insult.
Hopefully someone created a network in response to this called “NoThankYou.”
Admit it: even though you’d know it’s not true, this would still creep you out a bit.
Though the classic “no more grindcore” network takes top billing here, I think I actually am more fond of the “I’m just a Thundercats ho.” Of course, if you aren’t between the ages of 25 and 35, you have no idea what the hell that is even about.
Internet meme turned clever pun. What’s not to like here?
It must be true. Only a bona fide wiener would misspell the word.
What can I say? This is probably the greatest WiFi network name comeback ever.
The last one was my favorite comeback, but this might be my overall favorite reply. It’s hard to explain why—I think you either find it funny or you don’t.
Depending on the neighborhood you live in, this will either deter or attract potential internet pirates.
I guess this guy is just a misanthrope.
If there are any gullible conspiracy theorists in your neighborhood, you should totally try this one out.
Hopefully there is only one fat guy on the 7th floor, otherwise this one could cause some confusion.
Why’d they have to go and drag puppies into this?
Just out of curiosity, I Googled “donkey balls.” The results were more varied and far less disturbing than I expected.
Whoever named this network has probably changed the name to “Opa Gangnam Style” by now.
Just a gay guy giving a shout-out to other gay guys I guess.
You know the 6th grader inside you thinks this is hilarious.
If you figured out how to rename your wireless network from the router’s default settings, you would think you’d also know how to enable security. But apparently not.
Why yes, I would like to join the bondage club. Thank you for asking.
Who need Evites? Just announce that your having a party on your wireless network and see what weirdos show up. (Wait, do people still use Evites?)
I admire this person’s honesty.
“Honey, what network should I choose?”
“Oh, you want ‘Big Black C–k, dear.”
If #8 appealed to the 6th grader in me, this one appeals to my inner 4th grader. (Yes, I’m just trying to justify the fact that I find this funny.)
A wireless network named after the most disgusting internet meme of all time? Sure, why not.