If the Mayans are right, we’re going to have a very bad December. Luckily, the Mayans are probably wrong. But just because some ancient calendar can’t pinpoint the end of the world doesn’t mean we’re in the clear. From earthquakes to hurricanes to Madonna’s arms, signs of the end times are all around us. And as science fiction has taught us, if nuclear weapons don’t get us, the nanobots probably will. It’s best to be prepared. Luckily, prepping for the Apocalypse has never been easier, and a market for pre-made survival shelters has already emerged. Just pick the one that suits you best, plop down the cash, and you can have most of these bad boys delivered right to your door. And if your neighbors ask, just say it’s a septic tank.
Here are nine survival/bomb shelters you can actually buy.
Ride out the end times in style with a shelter from Atlas Survival Shelters. Manufactured in Los Angeles, CA, these bunkers are placed 20 feet under ground, creating the perfect place to hide from nuclear fallout or your annoying family. You can get your very own for as low as $59,000. But honestly, can you put a price on surviving the Apocalypse?
The Rising S company sells safe rooms and storm shelters, but who gives a damn. The end is here! We need something bigger! Luckily, they also have fallout shelters complete with blast doors, NBC (Nuclear, Biological, and Chemical) air filtration systems, and escape tunnels. Prices aren’t listed on the site, but you can bet they aren’t cheap.
If you have between $2,000,000 and $2,500,000 to spend, you can ride out nuclear winter in luxury and opulence. Built into a former U.S. missile silo that’s six stories underground, the Alfa Site features fully furnished condos that wouldn’t look out of place in Manhattan. Of course, if you buy one, I hope you like your neighbors, because you’re going to be dealing with them for the rest of your (probably short) life.
If sharing a space with neighbors isn’t your thing, there’s always The Silo Home. For $1,760,000 you can buy a mountain cabin built on top of a fully restored Atlas-F Series missile base in Saranac, New York. It even comes with it’s own airstrip.
The Genesis Series shelter from Hardened Structures has everything you’d expect from a survival shelter. It even boasts protection for your electronic devices against an EMP attack. This will come in handy when you’ve got nothing left to do but play Angry Birds and wait for the food to run out.
This shelter from The Survival Center Store starts at $84,995.00. Air filtration, septic tank and hook up, are optional, but unless you want a very stinky shelter, I suggest you splurge.
If the price tag for these shelters is out of your budget, maybe Vivos is right for you. For as low as $50,000, you can gain access to a network of shelters Vivos provides, pending approval. Here’s hoping the people you share the shelter with are cool, and don’t decide to kill you for your share of freeze-dried food.
Radius Engineering International boasts over 34 years in the business. That’s 34 years of building a product that no one has ever had to use. Still, I guess it only takes one nuclear war to make it worth while. Plus, Radius shelters look pretty cool compared to living in a big piece of pipe.
Last but not least (well, probably least) is the Quantum Sleeper. Why build a bunker when you can ride out the end times in a custom made bed? It’s bullet proof, air filtered, and it even has a DVD player. But based on the design of their early 1990′s website, I’m not sure I trust the design of the bed to get me through the Apocalypse.